


Group-chat Shenanigans

by TortleTortle



Category: RWBY
Genre: 3am ideas, Chaotic messes, Crack Post, Multi, Qrow is a mother birb, Qrow protecc his flock, Shenanigans, chaotic mess, cuddle buddies, daily uploads (kinda), dont try and tell me otherwise, finally got an editor (kinda), send help, tags are weird, weirdos in a group chat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 8,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24888580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortleTortle/pseuds/TortleTortle
Summary: What happens if you created a group chat with the characters of RWBY?Shenanigans. That’s what happens!Enjoy!!
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long, Coco Adel/Velvet Scarlatina, Lie Ren/Nora Valkyrie, Penny Polendina/Ruby Rose/Weiss Schnee, Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi
Comments: 51
Kudos: 167





	1. Welcome

**Author's Note:**

> I uh, may have created a chaotic mess, dON’T YELL AT ME!
> 
> I also did get inspiration by other stories like this and wanted to do something like it because, they’re great.
> 
> If you’re confused on the names, here ya go! ;)
> 
> Nyoom- Ruby  
> Ice Princess- Weiss  
> Shady Cat- Blake  
> Cat Simp- Yang  
> Thunder Thighs- Nora  
> Ren- Ren  
> Mom Friend- Jaune  
> Pine- Oscar  
> Gotta Go Fast- Harriet  
> Good Boi -Marrow  
> Vine- Vine  
> Hammer Time- Elm  
> Four Leaf- Clover  
> Edgy Birb- Qrow  
> Ice Queen- Winter  
> General- Ironwood  
> Best Girl- Penny

(A new thread has been started between James Ironwood and Winter Schnee)

Winter Schnee: General, I believe it would be best if we created a group with everyone. This way, communication between teams would be more efficient and easier. That includes the children, the Ace Ops, and, gods I hate saying this, Qrow. 

James Ironwood: Agreed. Please inform Clover so we can begin arranging it. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Winter. 

(A new thread has been started between Clover Ebi and Winger Schnee)

Winter Schnee: Hello Clover. The General and I have spoken. 

Clover Ebi: Yes?

Winter Schnee: We will be making a new group with everyone. This way communication will be much easier between people. 

Clover Ebi: Will I need to make or?

Winter Schnee: Please do. 

Clover Ebi: Yes ma’am. 

(Clover Ebi has created a new thread with 16 others)

Clover Ebi: Hello everyone. 

Marrow Amin: What’s this?

Elm Ederne: New chat?

Clover Ebi: Yes Elm, a new chat. 

Clover Ebi: This group will be used for easier communication between teams whilst on missions, or just easy access to reach one of us. 

Clover Ebi: And please, behave yourselves. 

(Clover Ebi has changed the group name to ‘Official Communication’)

Ruby Rose: eeee!

Yang Xaio Long: NICKNAME TIME BABY!

(Yang Xaio Long has changed their nickname to ‘Cat Simp’)

(Ruby Rose has changed their nickname to ‘Nyoom’)

(Harriet Bree has changed their nickname to ‘Gotta Go Fast’)

(Elm Ederne has changed their nickname to “Hammer Time’)

(Vine Zeki has changed their nickname to ‘Vine’)

(Clover Ebi has changed their nickname to ‘Four Leaf’)

Gotta Go Faster: seriously clover?

Four Leaf: It’s fitting!

(Blake Belladonna has changed their nickname to ‘Shady Cat’)

Cat Simp: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shady Cat: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nyoom: awweee

(Qrow Branwen has changed Weiss Schnee’s nickname to ‘Ice Princess’)

Ice Princess: Hey!

Qrow Branwen: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

(Nyoom has changed Qrow Branwen’s nickname to ‘Edgy Birb’)

Edgy Birb: pipsqueak

Nyoom: fitting :)

Four Leaf: Very fitting, for that matter. :)

Edgy Birb: ebi

Four Leaf: Branwen. 

Winter Schnee: Hello everyone. 

Ice Princess: Winter!

Winter Schnee: Hello Weiss. Why is that your nickname?

Ice Princess: Qrow!

Edgy Birb: :)

Nyoom: this is already chaotic and JNOR isn’t even here yet

(Nora Valkyrie has changed their nickname to ‘Thunder Thighs’)

Thunder Thighs: WE’RE LATE

Thunder Thighs: THE PARTY BEST NOT HAVE STARTED WITHOUT JNOR

(Lie Ren has changed their nickname to ‘Ren’)

Ren: Nora, please settle down. 

(Thunder Thighs has changed Jaune Arc’s nickname to ‘Mom Friend’)

Mom Friend: Fitting. 

Edgy Birb: very

(Oscar Pine has changed their nickname to ‘Pine’)

Pine: Hello!

Pine: Am I supposed to be here?

Four Leaf: Yes Oscar. Hello and welcome everyone!

Four Leaf: Again, this channel is for easier communication. 

Winter Schnee: Thank you Clover. 

Thunder Thighs: NEW GROUP CHAT! YEAH!

Ren: Nora

Thunder Thighs: Ren

Nyoom: RUBY!

Penny Polendina: Salutations!

Nyoom: PENNY! :D

Penny Polendina: Hello Ruby!

(Nyoom has changed Penny Polendina’s nickname to ‘Best Girl’)

Nyoom: :3

Best Girl: :)

Cat Simp: awwweeeee

Nyoom: HFJSNDJD YANG!

Shady Cat: You did say it earlier. 

Edgy Birb: i just noticed yang and blakes names

Edgy Birb: care to explain

Cat Simp: UH BYE

Shady Cat: Yang just ran out of the room.

Edgy Birb: where to

Edgy Birb: ...

Edgy Birb: never mind

Cat Simp: CARE TO EXPLAIN WHAT I’M SEEING UNCLE QROW?

Edgy Birb: I don’t know what you’re referring too yang

Car Simp: @Four Leaf how about you?

Four Leaf: I plead the fifth. 

Edgy Birb: good boy

Good Boi: What’s going on?

Nyoom: uncle qrow

Edgy Birb: ruby

Nyoom: what chya doooooin?

Edgy Birb: i see you by the corner, leave us alone

Ice Princess: Us?

Edgy Birb: uhhh

Edgy Birb: i plead the fifth

Nyoom: UNCLE QROW AND CLOVER ARE CUDDLING

Gotta Go Fast: i just spit my water

Four Leaf: Ms. Rose, please tread carefully. 

Nyoom: pfffft

Nyoom: i’ve got penny and weiss with me he won’t do anythingggg

Best Girl: Ruby, I suggest we run!

Nyoom: uh

Best Girl: Uncle Qrow seems quite angry!

Cat Simp: did she just say..

Shady Cat: She did

Ice Princess: Please help us. 

Four Leaf: I’m on my way. 

Ice Princess: Thank you Clover!

Four Leaf: Of course :)


	2. Ruby Does An Oopsie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edgy Birb: so you were going to destroy my room
> 
> Nyoom: what? pffff nooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Enjoy this crack post!

Nyoom: so

Nyoom: don’t get mad but

Nyoom: i did a thing :)

Cat Simp: ruby

Cat Simp: what have you done

Ice Princess: What did you do this time Ruby. 

Nyoom: i maaaay have broken somethinggg

Nyoom: bUT EVERYTHING IS FIIIINE

Shady Cat: Actually, everything is not fine. The wreck room is a mess. 

Nyoom: i was wrong

Nyoom: nOTHING IS FINE! 

Nyoom: SOMEONE HELP

Cat Simp: sorry little sis, this is on you, not us

Ice Princess: What did you even do?

Shady Cat: She put metal in the microwave. 

Nyoom: i put metal in the microwave

Shady Cat: Then proceeded to run around after it burst into flames, causing papers to scatter and things to fall. 

Cat Simp: wow, thought Uncle Qrow had it bad

Nyoom: YOU’RE NOT HELPING YANG!

Cat Simp: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Best Girl: Ruby and Blake! I suggest you two to exit the wreck room before things get worse. 

Nyoom: nO PENNY YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!

Nyoom: I BROKE THE MICROWAVE AND EVERYTHING IS DESTROYED!

Best Girl: I am on my way to help then!

Nyoom: PENNY YOU’RE A LIFESAVER!

Edgy Birb: ruby

Nyoom: uh

Good Boi: ...

Four Leaf: Is everyone alright that was involved?

Shady Cat: Yes. 

Nyoom: yes

Four Leaf: Alright. Please remember not to put metal in the microwave again Ms. Rose. 

Winter Schnee: Already the third one this month. How does this keep happening?

(Edgy Birb has changed Winter Schnee’s nickname to ‘Ice Queen’)

Ice Queen: Mature. 

Edgy Birb: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Nyoom: ha

~~~

Nyoom: hey uncle qrowww

Nyoom: where are you?

Edgy Birb: im in my room

Edgy Birb: what do you want

Nyoom: are you suuure? cause i’m inside your room and no one is here

Edgy Birb: are you sure youre in the right room

Cat Simp: can confirm she is not 

Nyoom: wait

Nyoom: tHIS ISN’T YOUR ROOM?

Four Leaf: Number?

Nyoom: uh

Nyoom: 236

Edgy Birb: my room is 237

Nyoom: THEN WHOSE ROOM AM I IN

Pine: That would be mine Ruby. 

Nyoom: oh

Nyoom: uhh, sorry oscar

Pine: What did you do Ruby. 

Nyoom: i plead the fifth

Ren: She wrecked your room Oscar. 

Nyoom: SNITCH

Pine: Ruby!

Nyoom: it’s fiiiiineee

Shady Cat: It’s not actually. I just peaked in and saw the room was a disaster.

Nyoom: DOUBLE SNITCH

Pine: I’m on my way. 

Pine: And it better NOT be as bad as Blake says it is. 

Pine: ...

Pine: Never mind, it’s worse. 

Nyoom: I’M SORRY OSCAR

Nyoom: I THOUGHT THIS WAS UNCLE QROW’S ROOM

Edgy Birb: so you were going to destroy my room

Nyoom: what? pffff nooo

Cat Simp: she got scared when she couldn’t find you so she wrecked oscar’s room trying to find you

Cat Simp: and you weren’t even there so

Nyoom: T^T

Good Boi: Does this always happen?

Nyoom: pfff..no

Ren: Yes. 

Shady Cat: Yes. 

Cat Simp: yes

Mom Friend: Yes. 

Thunder Thighs: yes

Edgy Birb: yes

Ice Princess: Yes. 

Nyoom: Snitches...

Ren: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Gotta Go Fast: good thing we’re on the opposite side of the dorms

Vine: Agreed. 

Hammer Time: definitely 

Edgy Birb: what were you wanting anyway pipsqueak

Nyoom: oh

Nyoom: right i uh

Cat Simp: game night

Cat Simp: everyone is welcome to join btw :)

Edgy Birb: ah

Edgy Birb: well hurry and get over here

Nyoom: YAY

Nyoom: uncle qroowwwwww

Nyoom: can penny come too?

Edgy Birb: ...

Edgy Birb: i guess

Mom Friend: Team JNOR is on our way. 

Nyoom: yay! 

Nyoom: i’ll go get penny 

Best Girl: I’m right in front of you Ruby!

Nyoom: when did...

Nyoom: okay then

Cat Simp: HURRY UP OR WE’RE STARTING WITHOUT YOU

~~~~

Edgy Birb: i think i might be deaf

Nyoom: it wasn’t that loud

Vine: Actually I disagree. 

Good Boi: Yeah, we could hear you from our dorms. 

Gotta Go Fast: you guys broke clover

Edgy Birb: HAHAHA

Edgy Birb: how

Four Leaf: Is it normally that loud?

Mom Friend: Yep. 

Ren: I apologize on behalf of my friends and I for being loud. 

Ren: We will be quieter next time. 

Thunder Thighs: no promises

Ren: Nora, please. 

Thunder Thighs: make me ren

Mom Friend: ...

Mom Friend: Nora

Thunder Thighs: yes jaune?

Mom Friend: Nora no

Thunder Thighs: NORA YES

Pine: I agree with Jaune, Nora NO

Thuner Thighs: fiiineeeee

Edgy Birb: i left for 5 minutes

Edgy Birb: what the hell happened

Four Leaf: Language. 

Edgy Birb: ...

Edgy Birb: you’re lucky you’re cute lucky charm

Four Leaf: Should I be scared?

Nyoom: nahhh

Cat Simp: maybe a little

James Ironwood: Qrow, please do not hurt my best soldier. 

Nyoom: he speaks 

Edgy Birb: glad to see youre still alive jimmy

Ice Queen: General

Edgy Birb: whatever

(Four Leaf has changed James Ironwood’s nickname to ‘Jimmy’)

Ice Queen: Ebi

Edgy Birb: :) good boy

Four Leaf: :) Thank you

Jimmy: Qrow

Edgy Birb: james

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this story yesterday and it already has 19 kudos fnwnfnsnd
> 
> Eee! Hello again! This is probably going to slow down in the next few days because..yeah
> 
> This is literally just 3am ideas so that’s cool.
> 
> As for An Unfortunate Event, I will set a schedule within it’s next two updates or so. So, be on the lookout for that! 
> 
> Thank you once again! Also, please do tell me if there are inconsistencies T^T


	3. G’s Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BunBun: Oh. 
> 
> Coco Adel: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Shady Cat: So ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Coco Adel: Yep ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like
> 
> My friend kept pestering me about Adding certain people so like
> 
> Ye
> 
> This exists

Four Leaf: Hear me out

Gotta Go Fast: clover

Good Boi: Oh god

Vine: Clover, please don’t. 

Four Leaf: I haven’t even said anything!

Hammer Time: We know what you’re doing, we can see you 

Nyoom: what’s happening?

Good Boi: Don’t!

Four Leaf: Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a roller coaster at 70 mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still.

Gotta Go Fast: of course 

Edgy Birb: ...

Nyoom: is he okay?

Gotta Go Fast: he usually does this

Good Boi: You know like shower thoughts?

Nyoom: ...

Nyoom: yes

Good Boi: It’s like those, but he writes them down, or sends them to someone before they go away. 

Gotta Go Faster: like before you all got here

Hammer Time: Blew up our phones with them

Edgy Birb: ...

Nyoom: you just broke uncle qrow

Cat Simp: and he’s off!

Cat Simp: clover, watch out

Four Leaf: Why?

Four Leaf: ...

Four Leaf: Got it. 

Nyoom: where’d uncle qrow go?

Cat Simp: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nyoom: ...

Nyoom: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shady Cat: What happened to everyone else?

Thunder Thighs: SHHHH

Pine: JNR is sleeping

Nyoom: thank you oscar!

Pine: I’m still mad. 

Nyoom: :0

Pine: >:(

Nyoom: I’M SORRY!!

Pine: No >:(

Nyoom: ...

Pine: Fine, you’re forgiven..

Nyoom: yay! i’ll help you clean up even!

Pine: No! Stay far away from my room!

Nyoom: :0

Pine: >:(

Nyoom: okay

Gotta Go Fast: do i even want to ask?

Shady Cat: Ruby wrecked Oscar’s room the other day. 

Good Boi: Right. 

Mom Friend: What happened here?

Nyoom: jaune!

Mom Friend: Yes Ruby?

Nyoom: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Mom Friend: ...

Mom Friend: Stop it. 

~~~~

Nyoom: so i find uncle qrow

Nyoom: just kinda

Nyoom: sitting outside clover’s door

Nyoom: @Four Leaf

Four Leaf: No he’s not. 

Nyoom: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Four Leaf: ...

Four Leaf: Dangit. 

Edgy Birb: good job lucky charm

Four Leaf: :(

~~~

Nyoom: @Shady Cat, @Cat Simp, @Ice Princess, @Mom Friend, @Ren, @Thunder Thighs

Nyoom: guess who just messaged me!

Shady Cat: Who?

Cat Simp: ?

Ren: Yes?

Nyoom: drum roll pleeeaaase

Ice Princess: ...

Mom Friend: ...

Thunder Thighs: BFBWHDJSN

Nyoom: okay, rude

Nyoom: VELVET!

Shady Cat: IS SHE OKAY?

Cat Simp: HOW DID YOU GET A MESSAGE FROM THEM?

Nyoom: IDK!

Nyoom: CAN I ADD HER @Four Leaf?

Four Leaf: I’m guessing she’s your friend? 

Nyoom: YES

Four Leaf: I guess?

(Nyoom has added Velvet Scarlatina)

Velvet Scarlatina: Oh um, hello!

Shady Cat: Velvet! Hey!

Velvet Scarlatina: Blake?

Shady Cat: Yes. 

Velvet Scarlatina: I’m good!

Velvet Scarlatina: We miss you guys a lot! :(

Nyoom: we miss you too!!

Nyoom: also

Nyoom: where are you?

Velvet Scarlatina: Um. 

Velvet Scarlatina: We kind of took some time off and decided to come see you guys?

Velvet Scarlatina: I hope you all don’t mind!

Shady Cat: Is Coco with you?

Velvet Scarlatina: Is it okay if I add her?

Four Leaf: I guess so. 

(Velvet Scarlatina has added Coco Adel)

Coco Adel: Woah, lots of new people. 

Shady Cat: Hey Coco!

Coco Adel: Blake?

Shady Cat: Yes. 

(Shady Cat has changed Velvet Scarlatina’s nickname to ‘BunBun’)

BunBun: Oh. 

Coco Adel: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shady Cat: So ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coco Adel: Yep ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

BunBun: >//< Coco!

(Coco Adel has changed their nickname to ‘Hot Coco’)

BunBun: Fitting. 

Hot Coco: Thanks ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shady Cat: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Four Leaf: ...

Four Leaf: Alright then. 

Four Leaf: Hello Coco and Velvet.

Hot Coco: Hey. 

BunBun: Hello!

Nyoom: COCO! VELVET!

BunBun: Ruby?

Nyoom: :)

Hot Coco: Hey Ruby.

Cat Simp: :0

Hot Coco: ...

Hot Coco: @Shady Cat @Cat Simp ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Cat Simp: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shady Cat: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hot Coco: Fitting. 

Best Girl: Hello Coco and Velvet! It is good to see you again!

BunBun: I’m sorry, but you are..?

Best Girl: Penny!

Hot Coco: Holy shit

Four Leaf: Language. 

Edgy Birb: clover

Four Leaf: Yes?

Edgy Birb: pay attention 

Four Leaf: ...

Four Leaf: I am. 

Edgy Birb: good

Hot Coco: ?

Nyoom: don’t worry about themmmmm

Nyoom: sooooo

Ice Princess: Velvet, Coco

Nyoom: ^

Nyoom: weiss

BunBun: Ah, hello Weiss

Hot Coco: Weiss

Ice Princess: Hmm. 

Ice Princess: It’s good to see you again. 

BunBun: Likewise!

Hot Coco: For you maybe..

BunBun: Coco

Hot Coco: Yes ma’am!

Cat Simp: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

BunBun: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dislike you G


	4. Mother Hen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gotta Go Fast: alright
> 
> Gotta Go Fast: who blew up the toaster?
> 
> Nyoom: ...
> 
> Cat Simp: we have a toaster?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh
> 
> This isn’t supposed to have angst, but I uh added it anyway?? Oops
> 
> I got a minor case writers block from First Words, but for some reason writing this helped?¿ Life is wack man
> 
> Enjoy!!

Good Boi: I just caught myself up on everything...

Gotta Go Fast: what the hell happened

Four Leaf: If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

Hammer Time: ...

Gotta Go Fast: DAMNIT CLOVER

Good Boi: BUT WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?

Nyoom: a few friends from school dropped by

Nyoom: and now they’re here (灬╹ω╹灬)

Edgy Birb: ...

Four Leaf: (´。＿。｀)

Edgy Birb: im just not going to ask 

Nyoom: best if you don’t!

BunBun: Um, hello!

Hammer Time: (๑• ω•)

Good Boi: Elm, please. 

Hammer Time: Whaaaat? Can I not make a good impression?

Vine: You’re going to scare them is what you’re going to do. 

Hammer Time: Fine :(

Four Leaf: @everyone Meet in the General’s office to get your missions. 

Four Leaf: We got missions in 30 minutes. Everyone be ready to head out. 

Good Boi: Yes captain!

Gotta Go Fast: whatever

Nyoom: ahhhh yeah!

~~~~

Nyoom: ughhhhh my feet ache!

Best Girl: Hello Ruby! Why do your feet hurt? Is something wrong?

Nyoom: ah, just a long day penny 

Nyoom: but you could make it up to me ｡◕‿◕｡

Best Girl: Of course! What can I do friend?

Nyoom: first

Nyoom: find weiss!

Nyoom: then bring both of your cute butts here!

Ice Princess: I am quite capable of walking to our room myself you dolt!

Ice Princess: And why do you want Penny and myself?

Best Girl: “Cute butts”?

Nyoom: yep! we’re cuddling!

Best Girl: I don’t see how that helps with you feet.

Nyoom: exactly

Nyoom: it helps me with my loneliness!

Best Girl: But you’re not alone Ruby. You have all of us!

Nyoom: ...

Nyoom: penny

Best Girl: Yes Ruby?

Nyoom: just get over here

Best Girl: I am on my way!

Nyoom: yay!

Nyoom: weiss! where are you!

Ice Princess: ...

Ice Princess: Turn around you dolt!

Nyoom: ...ahehehhe

Best Girl: I have arrived!

Nyoom: yay! my girlfriends are the best (^-^)

Cat Simp: oh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Thunder Thighs: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edgy Birb: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nyoom: oh no...

Nyoom: not you too uncle qrow!

Edgy Birb: oh

Edgy Birb: you’re getting one hell of a teasing for this kiddo

Nyoom: i didn’t do anything to you!

Edgy Birb: you did

Four Leaf: You did, Ms. Rose. 

Nyoom: not you too clover!!

Four Leaf: Well, you did tease us about cuddling, so revenge. :)

Edgy Birb: how does it feel pipsqueak

Nyoom: awful Ó╭╮Ò

Edgy Birb: lesson learned

Nyoom: lesson learned....

~~

Gotta Go Fast: alright

Gotta Go Fast: who blew up the toaster?

Nyoom: ...

Cat Simp: we have a toaster?

Shady Cat: Yes, Yang. You watched me use it the other day. 

Cat Simp: oh yeah!

Ice Princess: Blake, you used a toaster?

Shady Cat: I wanted toast

Ice Princess: ...

Edgy Birb: never pegged you for toast kinda kid

Shady Cat: I’m mysterious, remember?

Edgy Birb: true

Thunder Thighs: so about that toaster...

Ren: Nora accidentally shocked herself trying to plug it in, and it blew up. 

Ren: Don’t really know how, just blew up. 

Ice Queen: This is the sixth toaster for these last two months!

Ice Queen: You kids are idiots!

Edgy Birb: wanna repeat that ice queen

Ice Queen: You don’t scare me, you drunken idiot. 

Nyoom: correction

Nyoom: he’s sober now :)

Ice Queen: Oh really? Do you actually believe that?

Edgy Birb: ...

Nyoom: ...

Nyoom: uncle qrow?

Edgy Birb: ruby

Edgy Birb: of course im sober

Nyoom: ahhh, good

Ice Queen: I find that quite hard to believe, Branwen. 

Edgy Birb: whatever you say

Edgy Birb: schnee

Good Boi: Yikes. 

Hammer Time: Even through the phone, they’re arguing is as ever intimidating. 

Nyoom: we’re sorry about that...

Ice Princess: Can never leave those two alone, can we?

Mom Friend: No, we really can’t. 

Ren: I’m surprised Winter even joined in. 

Thunder Thighs: she did call us idiots

Cat Simp: mother bird had to fight for it’s children

Ren: Oddly poetic. 

Ren: But also correct. 

Jimmy: I apologize for Ms. Schnee’s words. I do hope they didn’t do any damage. Especially for you, Qrow. 

Edgy Birb: i dont care what the hell you have to say jimmy

Edgy Birb: what’s done is done

Edgy Birb: im taking the rest of the week off

Edgy Birb: and dont try and change my mind

~~~


	5. Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy: This is a channel for everyone to communicate effectively, not for your useless bickering. Now please, the both of you come to my office. 
> 
> Edgy Birb: no
> 
> Jimmy: Now Qrow. 
> 
> Edgy Birb: no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh!! I’m sorry for the amount of angst built in with this chapter!! I also stan by sassy Qrow :)
> 
> Also, the fight, kinda, idea was brought up by Blueyay, so thank you for it!!
> 
> Enjoy!!

Ice Queen: Well I certainly am not apologizing for this drunken fool!

Jimmy: Winter, please, calm down. 

Ice Queen: I won’t calm down! He’s just going to go back to his old ways sooner or later. 

Edgy Birb: seems youre the mature one now ice queen

Ice Queen: You are insufferable. 

Edgy Birb: likewise

Ice Queen: Branwen, I know your ways. You can’t stay sober for much longer. 

Edgy Birb: ive changed schnee

Edgy Birb: changed for the better

Ice Princess: He really has Winter. He won’t turn..like...

Ice Queen: How do you know this, Weiss? How can you believe him? He was raised in a tribe, sister. How do we know he can be trusted even?

Edgy Birb: enough of your bullshit ice queen

Edgy Birb: just because i was raised differently doesnt make me less trustworthy 

Nyoom: yeah! he saved us on the way here!

Thunder Thighs: ^^^

Ren: Tyrian almost got Ruby, but Qrow was there, he saved us, even risked his own life to help us. 

Ice Queen: To me he is still just a drunk fool. 

Edgy Birb: we get it

Edgy Birb: you don’t like me and im not too fond of you either schnee

Jimmy: Ms. Schnee, Qrow! Enough you two!

Nyoom: ooo

Jimmy: This is a channel for everyone to communicate effectively, not for your useless bickering. Now please, the both of you come to my office. 

Edgy Birb: no

Jimmy: Now Qrow. 

Edgy Birb: no

~~~

Nyoom: has anyone seen uncle qrow lately???

Cat Simp: kind of worrying

Shady Cat: I haven’t seen him since that outburst with Winter. 

Nyoom: that was 3 days ago...

Cat Simp: you don’t think...

Ice Princess: No. 

Ice Princess: He couldn’t have!

Nyoom: yeah! what weiss said!

Thunder Thighs: maybe clover knows

Ren: They are partners after all. 

Nyoom: @Four Leaf have you seen uncle qrow?

Gotta Go Fast: clover has kind of been missing too

Gotta Go Fast: they’re probably together or something 

Hammer Time: Definitely together ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nyoom: now really isn’t the time for that!

Nyoom: i’m worried! what if something bad happened to them!

Jimmy: Both Qrow and Clover took the week off.

Good Boi: When did the captain take the week off and why didn’t he say anything?

Jimmy: He wanted to take off for some personal time for himself. I let him because he was always working. 

Nyoom: well thank you for telling us! 

~~~

Cat Simp: it’s been a total of five days and i haven’t seen either clover or uncle qrow

Cat Simp: what if something actually did happen?

Nyoom: @Four Leaf please responddd!

Four Leaf: I was pinged?

Nyoom: CLOVER! YOU’RE OKAY!

Four Leaf: Yes, I am.

Nyoom: do you know where uncle qrow is?

Four Leaf: He’s been with me. 

Four Leaf: @everyone, We are fine. Just, Qrow still needs some time. 

Nyoom: yay! so nothing bad happened to the 2 of you?

Four Leaf: Nothing bad happened Ms. Rose. :)

Nyoom: ahh, good 

Four Leaf: Winter’s words just got the hold of his emotions, so he muted the chat and turned off his scroll. Again, we’re sorry for scaring you all. :(

Nyoom: it’s okay clover, as long as the both of you are okay!

Good Boi: Yeah! You should tell us next time Captain T^T

Four Leaf: Ah, sorry Marrow. Didn’t mean to scare you either! I’ll be back on missions once everything is okay though. 

Nyoom: ...

Nyoom: can we come see him?

Four Leaf: Not at the moment, sorry Ms. Rose. 

Nyoom: it’s okay

Nyoom: just tell us when we can please!

Four Leaf: Of course.

Four Leaf: Good luck on your missions today!

Nyoom: will do!

Good Boi: Yes sir!

Gotta Go Fast: whatever

~~~~

Hammer Time: @Four Leaf

Four Leaf: Hm?

Hammer Time: Why is there a bird on your shoulder and how did you get it?

Four Leaf: I found it (´。＿。｀)

Hammer Timer: Where?

Nyoom: bird?

Cat Simp: what kind of bird?

Gotta Go Fast: it looks like a crow

Nyoom: you know what this means?

Cat Simp: hell yeah ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Four Leaf: Language. 

Cat Simp: i thought you’d be cool

Four Leaf: ;)

Cat Simp: ...

Cat Simp: take my uncle

Nyoom: yang! not yet!

Four Leaf: ...What?

Cat Simp: you heard me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Four Leaf: Bye!

Nyoom: yaaaaaang! you’re early!!!

Cat Simp: still did what i wanted

Shady Cat: And what was that Yang?

Cat Simp: did you not see his expression?

Nyoom: no?

Cat Simp: he dropped his coffee mug ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nyoom: ...and?

Cat Simp: and it shattered

Cat Simp: pieces scattering everywhere! coffee spilled on his shirt and on the floor!!

Shady Cat: That was your plan. To catch him off guard and make him break something?

Gotta Go Fast: the bird even laughed at it...

Hammer Time: A little scary

Nyoom: aHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!

Good Boi: 0-0

Vine: Sometimes your obliviousness concerns me. 

Good Boi: You know something we don’t?

Nyoom: wait...

Vine: I happened to have seen it one day. 

Nyoom: ahh

Cat Simp: that makes sense

Cat Simp: when? @Vine

Vine: Second week you guys arrived. I was out patrolling and happened to witness it. 

Good Boi: Viiiiine! Tell us what you saw!

Vine: I believe it is theirs to share, not mine. 

Nyoom: it’s kind of uh

Nyoom: personal...

Good Boi: Oh, I’m sorry.

Nyoom: no no! you’re fine!

Good Boi: Okay. :)

~~~

Nyoom: so like

Nyoom: girls

Cat Simp: i’m listening

Shady Cat: Yes?

Nyoom: i uh

Ice Princess: Go on Ruby. 

Nyoom: uhhhh

Nyoom: WEISS PENNY

Best Girl: Yes Ruby?

Ice Princess: What is it you dolt?

Cat Simp: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shady Cat: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nyoom: I UH

Cat Simp: she likes the both of you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Best Girl: I like you too Ruby!

Ice Princess: ...

Ice Princess: You’re both such dolts :)

Nyoom: but we can be your dolts ;)

Ice Princess: That can be arranged. 

Best Girl: I would like that : )

Nyoom: we would both like that :) 

Cat Simp: fINALLY

Shady Cat: Yay!

Mom Friend: Now that they’re together...

Cat Simp: hmmm? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Mom Friend: Still hasn’t happened yet. 

Cat Simp: seriously??

Cat Simp: is he even more oblivious than uncle qrow?!

Ren: Who are we talking about?

Thunder Thighs: YES

Thunder Thighs: FOR THE KIND OF PERSON HE IS 

Ren: What are you all talking about?

Thunder Thighs: gee ren, i wonder

Ren: ...Nora?

Cat Simp: sigh

Shady Cat: Did you just..?

Cat Simp: yes

Shady Cat: Okay.


	6. Nora Burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mom Friend: Surprised that it wasn’t Yang though. 
> 
> Cat Simp: what’s that supposed to mean?
> 
> Mom Friend: Um...
> 
> Cat Simp: just because i like committing arson doesn’t make me psycho enough to burn a pizza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) enjoy this mess.
> 
> I FINALLY GOT AN EDITOR AND I LOVE THEM THANK YOU SO MUCH!
> 
> Also, I missed 69 kudos and it was pointed at to me in a Discord server, which thank you!

(Cat Simp has changed Four Leaf’s nickname to ‘Birb Simp’)

Cat Simp: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Cat Simp: so we’re gonna talk about it right?

Nyoom: ooooo

Nyoom: @Birb Simp got somethin’ to say?

Birb Simp: How am I a “Birb Simp”?

Nyoom: @Edgy Birb 

Edgy Birb: ....

Thunder Thighs: yeeeaaahhhh tell us qrow 

Thunder Thighs: how are you feeling? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edgy Birb: im perfectly fine 

Cat Simp: so you’re not sore at all? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edgy Birb: i dont like what youre implying

Birb Simp: What exactly is she..ah. 

Ice Princess: Qrow! You’re back!

Edgy Birb: ah yes

Ice Princess: Is everything okay?

Edgy Birb: im fine

Edgy Birb: just need some time to myself

Cat Simp: you mean alone time with clover? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edgy Birb: yang

Cat Simp: yes uncle qrow?

Edgy Birb: how about you and blake spending time together hmm

Cat Simp: ...

Shady Cat: ...

Edgy Birb: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nyoom: the tables have been turned ooo

Edgy Birb: dont think youre getting out of this pipsqueak

Nyoom: nooo!

Edgy Birb: mhmmm ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Birb Simp: I’ve been catching him up on everything. ;)

Nyoom: BETRAYAL!

Best Girl: It is good to see you Uncle Qrow!

Edgy Birb: uh

Edgy Birb: you too 

Jimmy: Qrow, I do hope everything is okay. 

Edgy Birb: its whatever jimmy

Edgy Birb: im fine dw

Mom Friend: So are we just going to ignore Clover’s new name?

Edgy Birb: please do

Thunder Thighs: but i’m quite curious about it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

Thunder Thighs: @Cat Simp do explain

Cat Simp: you know how a few weeks ago ruby saw them cuddling?

Cat Simp: well, i happened to walk by earlier and saw them cuddling again while watching a rom com

Edgy Birb: yang

Cat Simp: oh i’m not done either

Edgy Birb: YANG

Cat Simp: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) this is revenge uncle q

Thunder Thighs: please continue yang

Cat Simp: ever since the incident, you noticed how clover has been hanging out with a bird?

Nyoom: oh we’ve noticed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edgy Birb: thats enough yang

Cat Simp: anytime they’ve been on missions, i’ve taken peaks at them and see a bright pink on his face!

Edgy Birb: ....

Cat Simp: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Birb Simp: ....

Edgy Birb: are you done now

Cat Simp: for now

Thunder Thighs: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s planning time now

Shady Cat: Yes. 

~~~

(A new thread has been started between Clover Ebi and Qrow Branwen)

Clover Ebi: Should I be scared for what they’re planning?

Qrow Branwen: probably a little bit

Clover Ebi: Hide in my room?

Qrow Branwen: omw

Clover Ebi: Cool :)

Qrow Branwen: ;)

~~~

Good Boi: What happened exactly?

Vine: What is burning?

Thunder Thighs: we didn’t do aaaanything ;)

Vine: That is only slightly concerning. 

Thunder Thighs: good good

Ren: Oh no. 

Thunder Thighs: oh YES!

Mom Friend: Nora please no.

Thunder Thighs: fine

Thunder Thighs: only for you jaune

Gotta Go Fast: SERIOUSLY WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE SOMETHING IS ON FIRE

Nyoom: NORA BURNT THE PIZZA

Thunder Thighs: SNITCH

Nyoom: PAYBACK

Gotta Go Fast: NOT THE PIZZA

Good Boi: T^T

Edgy Birb: we leave you alone for only 10 minutes

Edgy Birb: how do you manage to do that

Nyoom: it’s nora!

Edgy Birb: ....

Edgy Birb: right..

Mom Friend: Surprised that it wasn’t Yang though. 

Cat Simp: what’s that supposed to mean?

Mom Friend: Um...

Cat Simp: just because i like committing arson doesn’t make me psycho enough to burn a pizza

Mom Friend: Right. 

Ren: How did you burn the pizza @Thunder Thighs?

Thunder Thighs: i uh

Thunder Thighs: i got bored so i used a dust crystal

Ren: Who gave you a dust crystal?

Thunder Thighs: i stole it from weiss

Ice Princess: Excuse me?!

Thunder Thighs: uhh

Thunder Thighs: hehehe

Ice Princess: UGH!

Ice Princess: Penny, Ruby!

Nyoom: omw!

Best Girl: I’m on my way, Weiss!

Ice Princess: Thank you.

~~~~


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edgy Birb: :)
> 
> Edgy Birb: im proud for once :)
> 
> Nyoom: ...
> 
> Cat Simp: gods damnit uncle qrow
> 
> Shady Cat: Can’t go a week without breaking something, can you?
> 
> Edgy Birb: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this exists.
> 
> I’m sorry if it’s not great! I got into a minor slump and wasn’t able to write for a few days, so I came up with this and wrote here and there. 
> 
> I’m still in a little bit of the slump, but I should be okay soon. 
> 
> Again, I apologize for this not-so-great update!!! I love you all!!!

Edgy Birb: a human head remains conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after it has been decapitated

Nyoom: uh

Nyoom: uncle qrow

Nyoom: are you okay...?

Edgy Birb: perfect :)

Birb Simp: Qrow?

Edgy Birb: ...

Edgy Birb: whoops

Gotta Go Fast: so

Good Boi: There is “birb” and “cat” simps..

Hammer Time: @Birb Simp, is this what I think it means? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shady Cat: They’re definitely dating. 

Edgy Birb: oh and you and yang arent

Shady Cat: ...

Cat Simp: i plead the fifth

Shady Cat: Fine. 

Cat Simp: wait what-

Shady Cat: We are dating. 

Nyoom: aaawwwweeeee :3

Cat Simp: DAMNIT BLAKE

Shady Cat: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Cat Simp: ....

Cat Simp: awwee i can’t stay mad at youu :)

Edgy Birb: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Cat Simp: @Mom Friend

Cat Simp: how’s operation flower-power?

Mom Friend: About that. 

Cat Simp: ??

Mom Friend: Ren got mad at Nora for burning the pizza, but instead of arguing over that they...

Mom Friend: Well Nora more specifically.. started bringing their relationship into it. 

Nyoom: why?

Mom Friend: She got mad because they never have talked about it. 

Cat Simp: soooo?

Mom Friend: Surprisingly

Mom Friend: They’re talking. 

Nyoom: ahhh yeah!

Thunder Thighs: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(Thunder Thighs has changed their nickname to ‘Power’)

(Thunder Thighs has changed Ren’s nickname to ‘Flower’)

Nyoom: :0

Flower: Nora, did we have to do it now?

Power: why yes renny :)

Cat Simp: I’M STILL MAD ABOUT THE PIZZA

Power: NO YANG GO AWAY

Flower: :)

Shady Cat: I’m sorry Ren.

Flower: Ah, it’s okay. I’m used to her antics at this point. 

Power: he knows me so well :))))

Birb Simp: Well, congratulations on the new relationship, but please remember to get your new missions some time this afternoon. :)

Nyoom: thank you clover!!

~~~~

Best Girl: Ruby! Weiss! How was the mission? 

Nyoom: ahhh! penny! i’ve missed you!

Ice Princess: It was alright, though, we are both a little tired. 

Best Girl: I am on my way!

Nyoom: i love my girlfriends ^^

Best Girl: I love you too Ruby! ^ ^

Nyoom: whfhjwjfjqdkkqnnn

Cat Simp: you

Cat Simp: you kinda just broke ruby xD

Best Girl: Oh no! Is she okay?

Nyoom: i’m fine penny, just get over here!

Best Girl: Alright Ruby!

~~~~~

Nyoom: why is..

Cat Simp: ??

Nyoom: why is the floor in the cafeteria so

Nyoom: blue?

Nyoom: like a BRIGHT blue

Flower: They were wiping the floors, but now it’s blue instead of white. 

Cat Simp: what???

Nyoom: THE FLOORS WERE WHITE EARLIER

Nyoom: WHY ARE THEY BLUE NOW??

Edgy Birb: ...

Birb Simp: ...

Nyoom: ....

Nyoom: do you two know why??

Edgy Birb: uh

Birb Simp: I’ll tell them..

Nyoom: ????

Birb Simp: We..may have destroyed the floor???

Cat Simp: ...

Shady Cat: ....

Birb Simp: BUT

Birb Simp: Everything will be fine. 

Nyoom: how..?

Edgy Birb: ran into ice queen

Birb Simp: We ran into Winter. 

Ice Princess: And?

Edgy Birb: she started it

Birb Simp: They got into another argument, causing the floor to crack then it got violent. Causing the floor to shatter. 

Edgy Birb: :)

Edgy Birb: im proud for once :)

Nyoom: ...

Cat Simp: gods damnit uncle qrow

Shady Cat: Can’t go a week without breaking something, can you?

Edgy Birb: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Cat Simp: ...

Cat Simp: i’m proud

~~~


	8. Bad Puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cat Simp: must be...
> 
> Nyoom: yang no
> 
> Cat Simp: a lucky catch, huh?
> 
> Nyoom: youch
> 
> Nyoom: it’s even worse than her normal puns
> 
> Cat Simp: huuuuuuuuh? get it?
> 
> Edgy Birb: ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize that this chapter isn’t that long. I’ve kind of hit a block with this?¿
> 
> Also, I was thinking about getting back to some semblance of canon, so, please tell whether you all would like that.
> 
> I also uh, kinda keep forgetting the Ace Ops exist soooo aha (´。＿。｀)
> 
> Also, expect some changes to it soon, some characters might be leaving, and new ones coming.

Nyoom: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ice Princess: What are you up to, you dolt?

Nyoom: ohhh, don’t wooooorry ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Best Girl: Do not worry, Weiss! Ruby and I are up to nothing!

Nyoom: shhh penny, let her find out

Ice Princess: Find what out?

Birb Simp: Um..

Birb Simp: Why is there a blue heart-shaped cake in the fridge?

Nyoom: NOOOOOOOO

Best Girl: Awe : ( We wanted it to be a surprise!

Birb Simp: My apologies Ms. Rose and Penny. 

Nyoom: clover, how many times have i told you to call me ruby?

Birb Simp: Sorry Ruby (´。＿。｀)

Nyoom: yay :3

Ice Princess: What cake?

Nyoom: AH

Best Girl: It’s been a month since we all confessed. So, Ruby said we should celebrate with cake!

Ice Princess: ...

Ice Princess: You dolts :)

Nyoom: your dolts tho ;)

~~~~

Good Boi: Children..

Gotta Go Fast: you’re still a child too

Good Boi: I didn’t accept to join the Ace-Ops to babysit children though!

Hammer Time: Oh please

Hammer Time: We babysit you all the time!

Good Boi: Σ(ﾟДﾟ；)

Vine: I agree with Elm. You still act like a child. 

Good Boi: Vine, not you too!!

Birb Simp: Weeeeeelllll...

Good Boi: I feel betrayed 

Edgy Birb: youll get used to it

Good Boi: ಠ_ಠ

Edgy Birb: ;)

Cat Simp: uncle qrow talking to other adults? this is new

Edgy Birb: :|

Shady Cat: Well, Yang isn’t wrong. The only other adult you talk to really is Clover. 

Edgy Birb: rude

Birb Simp: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Cat Simp: must be...

Nyoom: yang no

Cat Simp: a lucky catch, huh?

Nyoom: youch

Nyoom: it’s even worse than her normal puns

Cat Simp: huuuuuuuuh? get it?

Edgy Birb: ....

Cat Simp: because clover’s weapon is a fishing rod? huuuuhhhh?

(Edgy Birb has changed Cat Simp’s nickname to ‘Bad Puns’)

Bad Puns: my puns are good, thank you very much

Edgy Birb: i beg to differ

Birb Simp: (´。＿。｀)

Birb Simp: But I liked the pun...

Bad Puns: SEEEEE CLOVER LIKES MY PUNS

Birb Simp: Ya know, toucan play at that game. 

Bad Puns: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA-

Shady Cat: You actually broke Yang.

(Edgy Birb has changed Birb Simp’s nickname to ‘Cancelled’)

Cancelled: Awe :(

Edgy Birb: were not friends anymore

Cancelled: (´。＿。｀)

Edgy Birb: ...

Edgy Birb: damnit

Cancelled: You love me. :3

Edgy Birb: incorrect

~~~~~


	9. RIP The Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penny Polendina: @everyone
> 
> Ruby Rose: i’m scared...
> 
> Weiss Schnee: We’ll be okay as long as we’re all together. 
> 
> Yang Xiao Long: speaking of together...
> 
> (Yang Xiao Long has added Robyn Hill)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the angst, but it gets better I swear (´。＿。｀)

(BunBun has disconnected)

(Hot Coco has disconnected)

Shady Cat: Huh.

Bad Puns: must’ve left atlas

Nyoom: forgot they were here (´。＿。｀)

~~~

Nyoom: we’re at the rally! but things aren’t great..

Nyoom: i’m gonna try and get a video of this!!

~~~~

Bad Puns: so

Bad Puns: we told robyn ｡◕‿◕｡

(Shady Cat had added Robyn Hill)

Robyn Hill: sup bitches

Cancelled: Robyn.

Nyoom: hi robyn!

Robyn Hill: pipsqueak?

Nyoom: :3

Jimmy: Hello Robyn.

Robyn Hill: general, good to see you’re on mantle’s side :)

Jimmy: I’m doing what is right.

~~~

Mom Friend: WHY DO THINGS KEEP GOING WRONG?!

Power: LESS CHATTER JAUNE, MORE FIGHTING!

~~~~

Jimmy: @everyone Forgive me for what I’m about to do. 

Nyoom: (´。＿。｀)

Power: this isn’t fair

Power: what you’re doing is wrong! can’t you see that?

Jimmy: Sacrifices must be made for the greater good. 

Ice Queen: @Ice Princess, Enjoy your decision.

Ice Princess: I’m sorry Winter.

Ice Queen: Understood. 

(Thread has been deactivated)

~~~~

(Penny Polendina has started a new thread with 9 others)

Penny Polendina: @everyone

Ruby Rose: i’m scared...

Weiss Schnee: We’ll be okay as long as we’re all together. 

Yang Xiao Long: speaking of together...

(Yang Xiao Long has added Robyn Hill)

Robyn Hill: tyrian escaped, killed clover, and qrow and i are on our way to jail, or something like that

Ruby Rose: does this mean you’re on our side? (´。＿。｀)

Robyn Hill: ...

Nora Valkyrie: we tried to stop him

Blake Belladonna: He just wouldn’t listen. 

Robyn Hill: then i guess i’m on your side

Robyn Hill: a birdie is asking, how are you all doing?

Ruby Rose: we’re fine. where is the transport you all are on?

Robyn Hill: about halfway to atlas, hurry up if you’re gonna do something

Ruby Rose: we’re on our way!!!!

Jaune Arc: Where’s Oscar?

Ruby Rose: @Oscar Pine

Oscar Pine: I was uh...kinda shot off by Ironwood

Ruby Rose: OH MY GOSH ARE YOU OKAY?

Oscar Pine: I’m fine, get Qrow and Robyn first. 

Ruby Rose: right!

~~~~~~

Robyn Hill: @Qrow Branwen you won’t believe this

Qrow Branwen: ?

(Robyn Hill has added Clover Ebi)

Ruby Rose: we wanted it to be a surprise!!!

Qrow Branwen: ....

Clover Ebi: ....

Qrow Branwen: someone better explain now

Ruby Rose: weelllllll

Blake Belladonna: After we heard what happened, we felt bad. 

Yang Xiao Long: once we picked you and robyn up, jnr went down to find clover’s body

Clover Ebi: Luckily, they found me in time. I’m still alive all thanks to Jaune’s semblance. 

Jaune Arc: °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

Clover Ebi: And yes, before anyone asks, I’m on your side. 

Qrow Branwen: good

Nora Valkyrie: JUST KISS ALREADY DAMNIT

Lie Ren: Nora, please calm down. 

Nora Valkyrie: what? i’m just voicing what everyone else was thinking

Yang Xiao Long: ....

Yang Xiao Long: she’s not wrong

Nora Valkyrie: now that THAT’S settled

(Nora Valkyrie had changed their nickname to ‘Power’)

(Lie Ren has changed their nickname to ‘Flower’)

Yang Xiao Long: @Blake Belladonna ?

(Blake Belladonna has changed their nickname to ‘Shady Cat’)

Shady Cat: Of course ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(Yang Xiao Long has changed their nickname to ‘Cat Simp’)

(Jaune Arc has changed their nickname to ‘Support’)

(Oscar Pine has changed their nickname to ‘Farm Son’)

Power: he’s growing up so fast

Farm Son: :)

(Ruby Rose has changed their nickname to ‘Petal B’)

Cat Simp: :0

Petal B: :3

Cat Simp: i’m a proud big sis

(Weiss Schnee has changed their nickname to ‘Weissy’)

Petal B: aweee weissy :3

(Weissy has changed Penny Polendina’s nickname to ‘Best Girl’)

Weissy: :)

Petal B: hmmmm

(Petal B has changed Qrow Branwen’s nickname to ‘Angst’)

Angst: ...

(Cat Simp has changed Clover Ebi’s nickname to ‘Birb Lover’)

Birb Lover: ...

Cat Simp: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Petal B: pfft AHAHAHAHHAGA

(Robyn Hill has changed their nickname to ‘Lie Detector’)

Lie Detector: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Lie Detector: both very fitting

~~~~~


	10. Toaster Thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cat Simp: how does it feel dating a thief? 
> 
> Birb Lover: Well...
> 
> Angst: i swear lucky charm
> 
> Birb Lover: He did steal my heart. 
> 
> Angst: we’re done
> 
> Birb Lover: (´。＿。｀)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Updating? That’s new
> 
> Hello, sorry for the lack of updates! I’m working on a new story atm, and this doesn’t really have a schedule. So expect so changes from updates and chapters!

Lie Detector: @everyone can we like

Lie Detector: add my girls?

Petal B: yeah! go ahead!

(Lie Detector has added 3 others)

Fiona Thymes: Ohhh, what’s this?

(Lie Detector has changed Fiona Thymes nickname to ‘Lamb Sauce’)

Lamb Sauce: Of course you would. 

Lie Detector: :)

(Joanna Greenleaf has changed their nickname to ‘Joanna’)

(May Marigold has changed their nickname to ‘Mmmay’)

Lie Detector: may wtf

Mmmay: :)

Lie Detector: k then

~~~~

Petal B: anyone seen uncle qrow or clover?

Lie Detector: uh maybe

Cat Simp: robyn? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Lie Detector: yep ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shady Cat: What did you do?

Lie Detector: i gave them my space to talk

Petal B: ah

Cat Simp: anyone able to see what’s happening?

Farm Son: They’re talking, that’s all I can see. 

Petal B: any yelling?

Farm Son: No yelling. 

Farm Son: Qrow actually has a soft expression. 

Farm Son: Now they’re holding each other. 

Farm Son: And tURNING ON THEIR SCROLLS!!

Petal B: DELETE DELETE DELETE!

(Farm Son has deleted 8 messages)

Angst: the hell happened

Petal B: nothing :)

Angst: sure sure

Angst: @Support got anything to say

Support: Nope!

~~~

Angst: When you say the word ‘forward’ and ‘back’ they go in those directions.

Power: ...

Support: Um, you okay, Qrow?

Birb Lover: im fine why

Flower: Um, did you and Clover exchange phones?

Angst: (´。＿。｀)

Petal B: oooohhhhh

Support: What’d we miss?

Angst: nothing

Birb Lover: :)

Petal B: okay, this is officially weird

Cat Simp: so

Cat Simp: has it happened? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Angst: i have no idea as to what youre asking yang

Cat Simp: @Birb Lover mmmmm?

Birb Lover: ∑(ﾟ∇ﾟ|||)

Power: HELL YEAH

Support: I feel lonely. 

Petal B: poor jaune

Power: awe

Cat Simp: f

Shady Cat: F

Petal B: f

Weissy: F

Angst: f

Birb Lover: F

Flower: Has anyone seen Oscar?

Best Girl: Oscar is with me. Him and Weiss are training currently so he cannot talk. 

Petal B: thank you penny!

Best Girl: Of course!

~~~~~

Petal B: first of all

Petal B: how did we break a toaster? 

Petal B: and wHEN DID WE BUY A TOASTER?

Angst: bold of you to assume we bought it

Cat Simp: of course he did

Angst: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shady Cat: When did you get it then?

Angst: growin up with thieves taught me things

Angst: one of them being sneaky and unsuspecting 

Petal B: of course you would

Birb Lover: ....

Cat Simp: how does it feel dating a thief? 

Birb Lover: Well...

Angst: i swear lucky charm

Birb Lover: He did steal my heart. 

Angst: we’re done

Birb Lover: (´。＿。｀)

~~~

Petal B: @Weissy @Best Girl

Weissy: What is it, Ruby?

Best Girl: Yes Ruby?

Petal B: i want my girlfriends

Best Girl: That is a mood!

Petal B: did you just...

Support: We’ve been working on it. 

Mmmay: why is that oddly cute?

Lamb Sauce: If only a certain sOMEBODY-

Lie Detector: mmmm

~~~~~


	11. Whale Boi Arrives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst: a powerful bitch is on her way to destroy man kind bc her husband died
> 
> Mmmay: ...
> 
> Angst: ...
> 
> Angst: bad guy wants to kill us
> 
> Mmmay: ah
> 
> Lamb Sauce: That makes total sense now. 
> 
> Joanna: Agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmmm hello! Sorry for the long wait for an update!!
> 
> I’ll try and whip up a longer one sometime this weekend to make up for this short chapter!!
> 
> Also, I’m going to stray from canon and do my own thing with this so ye
> 
> Love you!!

Mmmay: why is there a fucking flying whale in the sky

Petal B: @everyone get ready!! 

Joanna: What’s going on?

Birb Lover: Salem is here. 

Lie Detector: well shit

Lie Detector: everyone meet up and let’s take the fight to her

Petal B: yeah!

Shady Cat: Yang and I are on our way. 

Power: along with JNOR!

Petal B: you have oscar?

Flower: Yes. 

Best Girl: Weiss and I are heading to the meeting area as well. 

Mmmay: anyone wanna explain what’s going on

Angst: a powerful bitch is on her way to destroy man kind bc her husband died

Mmmay: ...

Angst: ...

Angst: bad guy wants to kill us

Mmmay: ah

Lamb Sauce: That makes total sense now. 

Joanna: Agreed. 

~~~~

Support: Is Ruby with you? @Best Girl @Angst

Best Girl: We’re heading towards the whale.

Best Girl: The rest of you stay on the ground to keep the grimm under control!

Support: Yes ma’am!

Power: alrighty

Flower: Understood. 

~~~~~~

Lie Detector: we got grimm under control, how’s the salem situation?

Angst: amazing great fantastic 

Lie Detector: i’m sensing some irritation 

Angst: :|

Birb Lover: Is everything okay up there?

Best Girl: Ruby is quite useful, but they’re running low on aura! Uncle Qrow also suffered from a bad wound : (

Birb Lover: Qrow...

Angst: im fine

Angst: ill be fine once this is all over

Support: Do you need assistance?

Best Girl: Maybe a little. 

Weissy: We’re on our way. 

~~~

Lamb Sauce: We just ran into Tyrian, but we’re okay. 

Angst: anyone get stung

Joanna: No. 

Angst: good

Birb Lover: >:(

Angst: ...

Birb Lover: What? Am I not allowed to have a grudge?

Angst: point taken

~~~~

Petal B: we

Petal B: wE DID IT!

Cat Simp: guessing that flash was you?

Petal B: eheeeeee

Shady Cat: Good job Ruby. :)

Petal B: finally, we can have some relaxation. 

Petal B: @Lie Detector how are things in mantle?

Lie Detector: you all go, we got them covered

Petal B: you sure?

Lie Detector: yep, we’ll keep you all updated on the situation here

Petal B: alright!

Petal B: teams, let’s head out!!

Power: to vacuo!

Support: Yeah!

Birb Lover: Stay safe, Robyn. 

Lie Detector: you too lucky

~~~~~~~~


	12. Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes hello, I’m alive. I’ve been busy with other works since my last update, so please just remain patient with me T^T
> 
> Longer update! Weeee!!

Petal B: i’m just curious, but how the crap did we manage to lose oscar

Petal B: AGAIN

Support: I’m sorry Ruby!!

Support: He was right behind us, and he just kind of disappeared. 

Power: @Angst mind helpin’ out?

Angst: ._.

Angst: whatever

Petal B: thanks uncle qrow!

Angst: sure thing pipsqueak

~~~

Power: any luck @Angst?

Angst: you tell me @Farm Son

Farm Son: (´。＿。｀)

Farm Son: Well, I may have tripped and got stuck, and yall continued walking so I got lost. 

Power: why didn’t you shout?

Farm Son: I did, but none of yall heard me yelling. 

Petal B: we’re sorry oscar!!

Farm Son: It’s fine. Qrow and I are on our way. 

Power: hurry up so we can eat!

Farm Son: Yeah, yeah. 

~~~~~

Lie Detector: we did it bois

Joanna: He’s checked in. 

Mmmay: yessir

Petal B: what?

Lie Detector: we got james to get some help :)

Petal B: how?

Lamb Sauce: Robyn just yelled at him until he caved. 

Lamb Sauce: Though it did take a few hours.

Petal B: well damn

Cat Simp: SHE DID IT

Power: YESSSSS

Angst: proud uncle

Petal B: what

Cat Simp: ...

Cat Simp: proud, but upset

Shady Cat: :) Good job Ruby

Lie Detector: not so innocent 

Petal B: (´。＿。｀)

~~~

Angst: why the hell is the house an absolute disaster

Cat Simp: says the disaster

Angst: real mature

Cat Simp: uwu

Petal B: ....

Shady Cat: Awe. 

Support: @Birb Lover

Birb Lover: I’m innocent, I swear. 

Angst: oh?

Birb Lover: Okay!

Birb Lover: Jaune and I were sparring and I accidentally broke something. 

Support: We’re sorry Qrow!

Angst: gods damnit

Petal B: uncle qrow’s luck is rubbing off

Angst: fuck

Birb Lover: Language. 

Angst: werent sayin that the other night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Power: get a room

Birb Lover: ....

~~~~~

Cat Simp: so

Cat Simp: @Best Girl @Petal B @Weissy

Best Girl: Yes Yang?

Weissy: Yes?

Petal B: hm?

Cat Simp: wow they actually responded

Best Girl: I will always respond! 

Weissy: Why wouldn’t we?

Cat Simp: weeeeelllll

Shady Cat: Yang. 

Cat Simp: ooooo

Shady Cat: Yang, no.

Cat Simp: i like it when you’re feisty

~~~~

Petal B: NOW

Petal B: JNOR

Support: UwU

Flower: UwU

Farm Son: UwU

Power: uwu

Support: RWBY!

Petal B: uwu

Weissy: UwU

Shady Cat: UwU

Cat Simp: uwu

Cat Simp: QC!

Angst: ....

Birb Lover: UwU

Power: disappointed

~~~~

Petal B: so we taught clover how to play grimm escape

Petal B: and uh

Power: we don’t need to talk about that

Cat Simp: what?

Shady Cat: ???

Birb Lover: How do you play that game?!

Angst: says a huntsman

Birb Lover: JFJWJDJS

Lie Detector: lucky got a weak stomach?

Birb Lover: Shut up Robyn. 

Lamb Sauce: Awwee, how cute. 

Mmmay: what’s grimm escoae?

Mmmay: escape*

Petal B: it’s a fighter game

Cat Simp: but it’s got a lot of gore 

Birb Lover: (´。＿。｀)

Angst: you were stabbed and this is what you chose to throw up over

Birb Lover: Qroooooooowwwww

Angst: YOU THREW UP AT A VIDEO GAME

Petal B: ooooo

Cat Simp: since when does qrow use capitals

Angst: GAAHH

Cat Simp: angry bird

Petal B: ha

Cat Simp: oh?

Cat Simp: OHHHH

Angst: ....

Birb Lover: I’m proud. 

Cat Simp: SEEEE

Cat Simp: PEOPLE LIKE MY PUNS!

Lie Detector: sure thing blonde 

~~~~

Petal B: I PROMISE SHE’S OKAY BUT LIKE 

Cat Simp: penny fell in the ocean

Lie Detector: isn’t vacuo a desert?

Petal B: yes, but we kinda uh

Shady Cat: Went to the “beach”.

Lie Detector: explain?

Power: we wanted to cool off so we went to the ocean :)

Mmmay: fionna also almost died too

Lie Detector: @Lamb Sauce

Lamb Sauce: Ahaaaaa....

Shady Cat: You okay, Fionna?

Lamb Sauce: I guess, but I’m cold. @Lie Detector?

Lie Detector: yes ma’am

~~~~~


	13. All Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petal B: uncle qrowwww
> 
> Angst: i mean uh
> 
> Angst: sorry kiddo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah it’s a chapter :0
> 
> I got this idea from another text post story I read and I said why not soo here :3
> 
> (Also, the other song choice was Never Gonna Give You Up, so you might see that in the future if you enjoyed this ;) )

Best Girl: @everyone

Petal B: thank you penny ;3

Best Girl: You’re very welcome Ruby! ^ ~ ^

Weissy: She’s growing up. <3

Petal B: ANYWAY

Petal B: do yall know the song all star?

Cat Simp: oh gods

Shady Cat: Brothers. 

Support: UwU?

Power: YES

Flower: Here we go again.

Petal B: soooooo???

Cat Simp: fine

Petal B: YEEEES

~~~~

Petal B: i’ll start

Petal B: somebody once told me

Cat Simp: the world is gonna roll me

Weissy: I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

Shady Cat: She was looking kind of dumb

Angst: with her finger and her thumb

Lie Detector: in the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Lamb Sauce: Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming

Mmmay: fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

Joanna: Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Support: Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

Power: so much to do, so much to see

Flower: So what's wrong with taking the backstreets?

Birb Lover: You’ll never know if you don't go

Petal B: you’ll never shine if you don't glow

Cat Simp: hey now, you're an all star

Weissy: Get your game on, go play

Shady Cat: Hey now, you're a rock star

Angst: get the show on, get paid

Lie Detector: and all that glitters is gold

Lamb Sauce: Only shooting stars break the mold

Mmmay: it’s a cool place, and they say it gets colder

Joanna: You're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older

Support: But the meteor men beg to differ

Power: judging by the hole in the satellite picture

Flower: The ice we skate is getting pretty thin

Birb Lover: The water's getting warm so you might as well swim

Petal B: my world's on fire, how 'bout yours?

Cat Simp: that’s the way I like it and I'll never get bored

Weissy: Hey now, you're an all star

Shady Cat: Get your game on, go play

Lie Detector: hey now, you're a rock star

Lamb Sauce: Get the show on, get paid

Mmmay: all that glitters is gold

Joanna: Only shooting stars break the mold

Support: Somebody once asked

Power: could I spare some change for gas?

Flower: I need to get myself away from this place

Birb Lover: I said, Yep, what a concept

Petal B: i could use a little fuel myself

Cat Simp: and we could all use a little change

Weissy: Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming

Shady Cat: Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

Lie Detector: Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Lamb Sauce: Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

Mmmay: so much to do, so much to see

Joanna: So what's wrong with taking the backstreets?

Support: You'll never know if you don't go (go!)

Power: you’ll never shine if you don't glow

Flower: Hey now, you're an all star

Birb Lover: Get your game on, go play

Petal B: hey now, you're a rock star

Cat Simp: get the show on, get paid

Weissy: And all that glitters is gold

Best Girl: Only shooting stars break the mold

~~~

Petal B: pennyyyy you missed the whole thiiiing 

Best Girl: I know Ruby! I had some matters to attend to : (

Petal B: it’s okay! you can join next time!

Best Girl: I would love to!

~~~

Farm Son: I missed it?!

Farm Son: Nooooo!!!

Petal B: sorry oscar

Angst: ha

Petal B: uncle qrowwww

Angst: i mean uh

Angst: sorry kiddo

~~~~~


	14. Qrow.

Petal B: @Angst

Angst: what

Petal B: you know what ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Angst: i dont know what youre referring to

Petal B: suuuureeee~

Angst: miss i have two gfs?

Petal B: shutting up now!

Angst: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Petal B: @Cat Simp:

Petal B: he’s doing it agaiiiiinnnnn

Cat Simp: qrow

Angst: yang

Shady Cat: Qrow. 

Angst: blake

Best Girl: Penny!

Petal B: ruby!

Cat Simp: ...

Cat Simp: you’ve ruined it

Best Girl: Oh. I’m sorry Yang! : (

Cat Simp: it’s okay penny :)

Best Girl: Yay!

~~~~

Petal B: ...

Petal B: alright

Petal B: whose playing really loud rap?

Power: you guys can hear it?

Angst: excuse me?

Cat Simp: ...

Support: Nora, please. 

Power: hmmmmm

Flower: Nora. 

Power: okay :)

Petal B: WHY IS THERE NOW CLASSICAL MUSIC?!

Angst: ffs

Angst: @Birb Lover

Birb Lover: I uh...I don’t know what you’re talking about?

Lie Detector: good job lucky

Mmmay: great huntsman

Joanna: Agreed. 

Lamb Sauce: WHAT?

Lamb Sauce: WHY ARE WE DISSING CLASSICAL MUSIC?

Lie Detector: the secret is out

Mmmay: yikes

Lamb Sauce: IT’S SO GOOD! WHAT ARE YOU ALL ON ABOUT?

Birb Lover: Exactly. :) At least someone else appreciates it.

Angst: ...

Birb Lover: Don’t even lie to yourself. 

Angst: clooverrrr

Birb Lover: What? Last time we listened to it, you were humming along!

(Angst has changed Birb Lover’s nickname to ‘Cancelled’)

Cancelled: (´。＿。｀)

Angst: ;) think next time before you say shit

Cancelled: I’m sorry.

Lie Detector: good going lucky ;)

Lamb Sauce: Oh shit. 

Mmmay: haha

~~

Petal B: yikes

Weissy: Well, now what?

Petal B: usually he flies around

Joanna: Oh?

Lie Detector: flies around? 

Lamb Sauce: Like on an airship?

Cat Simp: uhh 

Shady Cat: Yep! On an airship!

Cancelled: (´。＿。｀)

Lie Detector: how often does this happen?

Petal B: quite a lot actually 

Mmmay: and that doesn’t seem a little unhealthy?

Petal B: it’s fiiiine

Cat Simp: yeah, tell em qrow! @Angst

Angst: yeah, everything is fine ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Lamb Sauce: ಠ_ಠ

Lie Detector: understood

~~~~

Petal B: ironwood update?

Lie Detector: things are going steady

Mmmay: marrow keeps regretting what he did

Cat Simp: ....

Weissy: Tell him I said sorry. >_<

Mmmay: he said it’s okay

Weissy: Phew :)

Best Girl: How is Winter doing?

Lie Detector: she kinda took over the position as general....but things are definitely looking better

Petal B: ahhh! i’m so glad to hear that!

Weissy: I’m glad she’s doing okay. 

Cancelled: Good for her. 

Angst: of course the ice queen gets the job

Weissy: Qrow.

Angst: shutting up now :)

~~~~

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally just a crack story sooooooo


End file.
